Friday, March 9, 2012

AROUND THE WORLD

AT HOME:

Florida Law Makers recently debated lyrics to Jay-Z's "99 Problems" which is infamous for both legal astuteness on warrant requirements and for calling women "b*tches." Apparently, this is acceptable political discourse. Well done Congressman.

In the never ending set of examples as to why the Government is a poor manager of your money: The District of Columbia, spent $885 Million to "create jobs" and "stimulate" the economy. How many jobs did it create? No one knows exactly but the consensus is not very many. "Data" shows they spent millions of dollars but no quantifiable improvements are known. In fact, employment in D.C. is actually worse now. Well done Government.

OH! and in Detroit we gave the government $11 Million to help out-of-work workers purchase suits for new jobs and interviews. All of that money is now gone. How many people did we help? Two. TWO PEOPLE FOR $11 MILLION DOLLARS!

Also in Detroit, they don't know how to handle their poultry. A large male Turkey has been tormenting an elderly woman for more than two (2) months; even injuring her on several occasions. Instead of turning the thing into a delicious sandwich, they're hiding inside until the bird goes to sleep at night.

In Pennsylvania, a husband wanted to know if his wife was cheating so he put a transmitter under her bed to determine if and when she was having relations with her boyfriend. The transmitter didn't work but the wife eventually found the malfunctioning device. She called the police and had her husband charged with a misdemeanor. So, adultery is no problem but "invasion of privacy" ... in the home the husband shared/owned with his wife... equals a criminal act.

In America at large, we are in the worst job-recession since WWII. And, our trade deficit is getting worse by the day. And, we gave some company $10 Million to create a green light bulb that now costs $50 to purchase.

Also, gas is really expensive but our Energy Secretary and POTUS aren't particularly concerned about oil prices. After all, we are pursuing new shovel-ready fuels... (that's a pun in regard to all the "shovel ready" jobs we created by spending billions of federal dollars on far-distant, shovel-less, pipe dreams). Of course, the Energy Secretary doesn't own a car so what would he know about gas prices anyway. I would like to point out that, that didn't stop him from praising the Chevy Volt for its miraculous wonders... such as the wonder that we gave GMC billions for a car that has now ceased production and resulted in mass layoffs. And, no, you won't be receiving a tax credit for your philanthropy.

The TSA Sucks and their digital strip search machines don't work nearly as well as they claim.

ABROAD:

Greece will inevitably default leading to worldwide upheaval... and maybe kicking off Armageddon. (Joking. Kind of.) European experts are saying, "Nah, they'll survive just like they did with that whole Thermopylae thing" but TCD says... default is coming.

Spain is probably next.

Portugal and Italy are on the radar as well.

Iran is still insane and Israel is getting very serious about bombing them. The United States wants to delay an attack by providing advanced bunker busters but that probably won't be sufficient to hold off an attack for very long. Especially, considering that Iran has been moving a lot of dirt around lately.

And last, but certainly not least, the U.S. Government has listed the Vatican as an "of concern" government for international money laundering. That's right, our government is concerned the Holy See might be laundering terrorist funds. Seriously. POTUS or people in his administration must believe in the Illuminati. Don't get me wrong, I love a good conspiracy theory but not when it generates from the White House. I mean the Commander-In-Cheif better either know for sure or know better. In full disclosure, a lot of countries are on the list so maybe it isn't as big of a deal as you'd expect but come on... Really? The Pope is not a bookie.

3 comments:

  1. This post is informative, disturbing and hilarious. Thank you!
    Lets make the next post a little more upbeat, shall we? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for your comment. However, negativity is a preferred character trait here at TCD. So, shut up. ;)

    ReplyDelete